I hope you’re ready for this because there will be no walk in the park however as long as you’re ready you can let go of the past and move on.
It can be difficult to move forward in life because living in the past has become a reason to block yourself from others in some way. To prevent from ruining future relationships, having poor mental health and being sad in life you must let go of the past.
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10 things you must do to let go of the past
Often heard as “accept what is and let go of what was” acceptance is easier said than done. I’m sure you may have tried to skip this step, as many do, because we like to jump to the need for apologies when we do not know why yet.
Why do you feel the way you do? What happened? Why did it happen? How has it impacted you or your life?
Validate Your Feelings
Now that you know why you feel the way you do, validate yourself and your feelings. Do not belittle yourself or try to sweep your emotions away simply because you are uncomfortable with them.
Explore your emotions, validate your emotions, process them and embrace them to be able to let go of the past. It is difficult to let go of the past when you do not acknowledge your emotions from the situation.
For my long time readers, you have seen me discuss mindfulness before and how to practice it (you can check it out here). Just as before, the reason mindfulness is so incredibly important is that it encourages you to be self aware.
It is so much easier for you to acknowledge why it is difficult to let go of the past and move on when you are mindful. By implementing relaxation techniques and activities that would encourage self awareness you will be able to manage your emotions and control your behaviors while coping.
I know, I know! You’re probably sick of me and the self care talk, but honestly I have to! I always think “what if this is their only reminder to practice self care today?” then it is worth the mention.
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Self care has amazing benefits I have mentioned here before, however it is most important when you have made the decision to let go of the past. You may notice an increase in stress, a decrease in social interaction and/or fluctuating moods while processing events from your past, which makes it even more important to practice self care.
Letting go of the past is no easy feat as emotions cloud your judgment, logic goes out of the window and moods begin to be all over the place. The best thing you can do is find support for yourself during this time.
If you make the decision to let go of the past, you could set up support beforehand. Sometimes the processing begins before we are aware that it is time and we cannot be as proactive as we would like. My best advice is that when you begin to notice the signs, reach out to friends, family or your mental health support team to have those individuals that you can reach out to and vice versa.
Not only are affirmations great for improving moods but they work awesomely to counter negative thoughts! Instead of thinking of all that went wrong in your past, shed positive light on what you gained from the experience.
For example, instead of thinking “ I cannot believe I allowed that to happen” you could say “I am so glad I was strong enough to cope at that time and I was able to improve my boundaries”. It is difficult to think of affirmations or mantras when you have to let go of the past and negative experiences, you can use some of these to get you started.
Avoid The Negativity
If you notice that there is a person or place that is causing you discomfort it may be time to separate and move on from them. Though it is easier said than done, it should be noted that they are now your past and it must be done!
Slow and steady or as quick as a band-aid find a way to let go of the past by leaving a person or place in the past. Choose to improve your life, choose you! Here are some tips for setting boundaries with others!
I think it goes without saying that the best thing we learned about from our past is things we can improve within ourselves. Mindfulness and self care work amazing for acknowledging areas of improvement within ourselves.
Most of the time it is something simple that we need to do to improve ourselves, our interactions with others and our interactions with our environment. If you need help setting boundaries check out these tips. If you need to improve your mental health do these 15 things.
After reflection, mindfulness, and noticing what you could have done better, forgive yourself. When you decide to let go of the past and move on, you are deciding to leave who you were back then in the past!
Forgiving yourself for past mistakes that were made from lessons that were not learned yet is unfair! Would you do the same to another? Would you make someone feel guilty for a past mistake or would you allow them grace and move on?
Learn From Your Past
What was the reason you were so stuck and unwilling to let go of the past? Were you unsure of the lesson that you needed to gain from it? This is why becoming self aware and allowing all emotions to flow is so important.
There are things we will experience in life that we are unsure of the reasoning behind until after the experience. Keep this in mind when you are ready to grow from the past, learn from it and move on.
I hope these tips help! I would love to hear all about your progress to let go of the past. Be sure to let me know if you need support!
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