My Journey to Being Forever Strong

    2016 was one of the best years and one of the worst years of my life. It was one of the best because I graduated from College. It was one of the worst because two months after I graduated, I was in a bad car accident where I suffered from a mild traumatic brain injury, which caused me to have Central Pain Syndrome.

CPS is a neurological disorder due to damage to the brain, brain stem and spine. My brain never healed properly. My brain does not know what pain is anymore.

Simple things like touch, and showers were no longer as enjoyable as they once were. Instead they are some of the worst feelings I have ever experienced. As of now it will probably always be like this.

    I was just visiting family in Las Vegas and one night on our way home from dinner a lady was distracted and ran a red light going 60 miles an hour.

She t-boned us on my door where my head hit the window a couple of times and went the other way. Everyone thankfully walked away that night and after being checked out by the EMS we ended up going home and not to the hospital. 

    Over the next several days, my head was hurting worse, especially where I was hit, I was dizzy and nauseous constantly. We finally went a few days later to see a doctor, who told me it was a sinus infection.

I didn’t understand how that was possible, but he said that I might have been getting sick already and it made it come out.

I had a few tests done, which all came back clear. A few days later I went home and saw my doctors.

    I was told that I was depressed, and I was sent to see a chiropractor for my neck pain. After a month of being home I ended getting a part time job in my dream career.

I was an event assistant to a local planner. I had wanted to be a planner since I was in high school. I was so excited and wanted to finally put this whole ordeal behind me. 

    Too bad it was only the beginning.

    A few months into working I was still in a lot of pain. I went back to the doctor and was sent to a neurologist who told me in a few minutes time that I had a concussion. I went for physical therapy, more tests as well as tried different medications. Most of the medications made me worse than better so I got off them.

The tests again showed nothing. I started to realize something wasn’t right when I couldn’t complete simple tasks at work without having to ask for a help a couple of times. I was taken off work and sent for more tests, new doctors and more therapy. 

This is the time that I started having more issues with my mental health. I was grieving my old self and where I “should” have been at that time. I stayed home often not wanting to go anywhere. Most days I was barely able to move from the pain.

I got into a deeper hole and life felt like a standstill. I had the most amazing support in my family, boyfriend and friends.

Anything I needed they were there for me. 

It didn’t help when I had a doctor tell me it was in my head and that I was basically making it up. I just continued to feel like maybe it was in my head and that I was burden to my friends and family.

 Finally, a year to the day of the accident I was with a new doctor who diagnosed me with Central Pain Syndrome.

Even though it felt good to know I wasn’t crazy it was still an uphill battle of more medicine and therapies.

As of today, which is three years later, I am not on any medication for this disorder. Unfortunately, it is not because I am better, but because nothing has helped and at this point I am so used to it that I just deal with it.

After a point, I decided to be a voice for those who might need it or for those who need the support. My phrase “Be Forever Strong” came to be as well as my blog and podcast called With Love, Alexa.

I decided it was time that invisible illnesses needed to be destigmatized. So many of us suffer and many just don’t feel ready to talk about because of fear of judgement. 

I am creating a lifestyle brand for invisible illness warriors, and caregivers. I will have blog categories on travel, fashion, relationships, self-care tips and daily hacks for all kind of invisible illnesses.

We are all strong individuals and we need to keep pushing, spreading the word on invisible illnesses and continuing to be forever strong.

About The Author

photo of woman with brunette hair

My name is Alexa Randolph. I am a blogger and host for With Love Alexa, which is a blog and podcast.  I started both the blog and podcast to help bring awareness to invisible illnesses  and to help destigmatize the situation. I am also the author of the With Love, Series (With Love, Ella and Daniel, Ever After) which can be found on Amazon.

  • Follow me on social media at:
  • Instagram: @withlovealexa1
  • Facebook: @withlovealexa1
  • Pinterest: @withlovealexa1
  • Podcast: can be found pretty much wherever you listen to podcasts
  • You can reach me at here

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