Rejection is inevitable. And that’s the hard truth. This doesn’t mean you cannot overcome your fear of rejection!
But, knowing this doesn’t make the experience of rejection easier, especially when it’s from those you care about, and what you are passionate about.
It’s hard to overcome the fear of rejection when you’ve been continuously rejected more than a couple times, and it becomes a worrying thought at the back of your head.
But, when the fear holds you back from doing the things you love, that’s when you must face it.
I have experienced rejection throughout my school years, and I still fear it, but I have come up with solutions which have helped me to overcome the fear gradually.
So, today, I am sharing with you the solutions which have helped me to overcome the fear of rejection.
When did your fear begin?
The first step to anything is acknowledgement.
Now, think back to when you were a child or teenager. When did you have your first experience of rejection? Was it when you were making friends or was it when you applied to become a team captain?
Finding out when your fear steamed from will help you in the next steps below.
What is your reason behind the fear?
It’s normal to feel distressed when faced with rejection, but what you must find is the reason behind your fear of rejection.
Is it because of the fear of loneliness, which results in you continually reaching out to form friendships with everyone?
Or is the reason because you want to achieve your goals, so you want to be the ‘number 1’ at everything and get as many things you can?
Change your mindset.
It’s our human instinct to immediately think the worst about our experiences of rejection, which involves us self-criticising ourselves. For example, we say, “this went so wrong,” or “I looked so stupid.”
Instead of making yourself feel better, you become your self-fulfilling prophecy, which is that our rejection was validated.
So, before self-criticising yourself, instead swap the limiting beliefs with a positive outlook of the situation. This will help to improve your negative thinking, as it encourages you to achieve your goals.
Swapping your limiting beliefs with positive beliefs is through the process called a growth mindset. A growth mindset is when we believe that our abilities are developed through hard work and dedication.
An example would be to swap “I have messed up,” with “although I messed up, I will learn from the situation and carry on.”
Therefore, having a growth mindset will help you to overcome your fear of rejection because it will show you that rejection is not a sign of failure, but a redirection in your life, which will allow you to learn from your experiences.
Remind yourself what you are capable of.
Rejection will make you feel you are unworthy of success or love. Instead of dwelling on those limiting beliefs, I would suggest grabbing a bullet journal and write 10 things you are grateful for; including what you have achieved and experienced over the years.
This has helped me with dealing with my fear of rejection, and it shows you can do anything.
Another suggestion would be to expand your gratitude further, by having a daily gratitude journal, which you can reflect on at the end of every day.
Take little steps.
Your fear of rejection won’t be overcome overnight, but avoiding situations to prevent the experience of rejection will only stop yours from achieving your goals.
I would recommend creating a ‘fear hierarchy,’ which is a list of low fear-inducing to high fear-inducing on a piece of paper. By doing this, you will be gradually exposed to fearful situations which may involve being rejected, and you will be less likely to retreat back into your ‘shell.’
Remember that everyone has faced rejection.
If we didn’t have a fear of rejection, then we wouldn’t have anything to motivate us in the future towards our goals and desires.
“Do you ever quit out of the fear of rejection?”
Rejection has happened to many of us, including celebrities such as Oprah Winfrey and J.K.Rowling.
Oprah was seen by many producers as unfit for TV, but this didn’t stop her from achieving her dreams. Instead, she used the experience of rejection as one of her primary motivators to create her own TV show.
This is the same with J.K.Rowling. She was rejected by many major publications, due to them believing that her novel wouldn’t sell, but now she is one of the world’s most known authors.
These examples show that everyone experiences rejection, and feel defeated afterwards, but it’s how you use it to your advantage.
These solutions will help you to overcome your fear of rejection and to start moving forward towards achieving your goals. By integrating these solutions into your daily routine, it will help you to overcome your fear of rejection and take responsibility for your life. Remember, the fear of rejection is rational, but it’s how you react to the fear, that is important.
Do you have more solutions? Comment down below.
About The Author
Kyra creates blog posts tailored to help millennials who want to become a better version of themselves. She aims to guide millennials through the confusing and challenging time of their life. To abide by their own rules and to create the dream life they’ve always wanted.
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